Bakura's Day Off
by Robin Rainyday
Summary: Bakura can't get the puzzle from Yugi and so decides to take a day off from taking any and all millennium items or sending anyone to the shadow realm . . . this can't be good . . . Complete! Total chaos and a mole all in one fic!
1. Bakura's Problem and Solution

Bakura's Day Off  
  
Rainyday: This cannot be good . . . Bakura's day off? What evil will be committed on this day of days?  
  
Ryou Bakura: Don't ask me, I'm as scared as you!  
  
Bakura: HEY!!! I'm taking a day off from being . . .  
  
Rainday: DON'T TELL THEM YOU'LL RUIN THE STORY!!!  
  
Bakura: Fine . . . sorry . . . whatever, just get on with is.  
  
Rainyday: Okay dokey! Disclaimer . . . I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters, I only annoy Bakura by taking away his chocolate and giving them all stupid nick names eh Beaker?  
  
Bakura: Shut up and get on with it . . .  
  
Bakura's Day Off  
  
A Fan Fiction by Robin Rainyday  
  
Ryou Bakura sat on the couch lazily watching sitcoms. It was a bright sunny day but he didn't feel like going out and seeing his friends.  
  
"Forget that!" Yami Bakura said in the back of his mind.  
  
"What!?!? I thought you were gone!!!" Bakura said in horror as Yami Bakura took over his body once again.  
  
"Soon I shall have the Millennium puzzle!" Bakura said with a smirk.  
  
AT THE GAME SHOP  
  
"Hey Yugi!" Yami Bakura said acting like his lighter half, "What are you up to today?"  
  
"Oh, hey Bakura . . . nothing much actually. Just hanging around."  
  
"I know what would pass the time!" Bakura said brightly.  
  
"What?" Yugi asked.  
  
"A duel, I haven't dueled in awhile, not since duelist Kingdom actually. It would be fun!" Bakura said smiling.  
  
"A duel? Yeah, sure okay," Yugi said taking out his cards.  
  
"And we'll have this duel in the shadow realm, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura laughed.  
  
HALF AN HOUR LATER  
  
"Attack Dark Magician, wipe out the rest of his life points." Yami commanded his Dark Magician.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bakura shouted, "You may have won Pharaoh, but you shall not remember this!" Bakura shouted angrily using the power of his Ring to wipe out Yugi's memory of the past events.  
  
Bakura stocked out of the game shop angrily.  
  
"Why can't I ever win!?! It can't be this hard to beat that twirp in a duel! Whenever anyone plays him he does really badly until somehow he pulls the right card! BUT HE NEVER CHEATS DAMN HIM!!!!!!! NO ONE SHOULD BE THAT LUCKY!!!!!" Bakura shouted. A few people gave him strange looks.  
"STOP LOOKING AT ME!!! BLOODY HELL!!!!" Bakura yelled. Yami Bakura made his way back to Ryou's house not feeling like giving control back to Ryou.  
  
AT RYOU'S HOUSE  
  
"I hate them all!" Bakura said then turned on the T.V. since there was nothing else to do.  
  
"THIS WEEK ON THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OF LOVE!!!!" The T.V. announced.  
  
"Oh boy, soaps!" Bakura said sarcastically, "Why does Ryou watch this crude anyway?"  
  
"Darma's baby is really Brads, not Terry's and Brad is in the deep forests of Canada trying to find Mandy who is in a coma in a hospital where Sidney her long lost sister works. And now Darma has only her day off from work to find Sidney which is her long lost cousin!"  
  
"By the gods what a terrible show . . . hmm but that Darma person has a point, what I need is a day off from stealing the Millennium items. I shall have a little fun in this modern world and I will not touch another Millennium item or send one person to the Shadow Realm until (Looks at watch) 1:00AM." Bakura said happily thinking that his stress problems would go away once this day was over.  
  
AT THE BEACH  
  
"Okay, first the beach, a nice swim, a few of those greasy French fries and a Coke (Rainyday: I don't own Coke . . . -___-;;; I think you know that though . . . ) then, I sun tan and go on to the next thing on THE LIST!!!" Bakura said holding up his ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura jumped into the water.  
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! COLD!!! COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura shouted jumping out. "Okay so I'm not used to the water temperature . . . I'll just skip that . . . and move on to the Fries and Coke . . ." Shivering from the cold water Bakura made his way to the Concession stand.  
  
"Watch out mister!" a little girl said looking up at Bakura.  
  
"Excuse me?" Bakura asked.  
  
"You don't wanna step in that dog doo do ya?" the little girl asked.  
  
"Ewww . . . thanks kid . . . have a lollypop . . ." Bakura said tossing the kid a lolly.  
  
AT THE FOOD STAND  
  
"Okay," Bakura said looking at the relatively short line.  
  
"I'd like . . ." Bakura was about to say when . . ."  
  
"Sorry Bub, but this is the food getting line, over there's the food ordering line." The big greasy looking man pointed at a very, very, very long line with about twenty people and more to come.  
"You . . . must . . . joking!" Bakura said in astonishment.  
  
"Nope, so either get in line or go away!" The big man shouted.  
  
"You're lucky it's my day off!" Bakura shouted stopping himself from sending the big man to the shadow realm. Bakura got in line.  
  
ONE HOUR LATER  
  
Finally, Bakura was at the front of the line. "Okay," Bakura said to the big man.  
  
"Sorry bub, but this line is closed, you'll have to try some other stand." The big greasy man said.  
  
"WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!! BLOODY HELL! YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY LUCKY YOU'RE NOT IN THE SHADOW REALM!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura shouted slamming his hands on the counter.  
  
"And you're lucky you're not in the funny farm!" The man said slamming the window of the stand . . . on to Bakura's fingers.  
  
O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O "GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed in pain. "Owwowwowwwowwwowww . . ." He said kissing his bruised fingers.  
  
"That jerk! That bloody jerk! I should send him to the fricking Shadow realm . . . calm down . . . calm down, it's your day off, you can't send him to the shadow realm, you'll just get stressed out . . . okay, I'm calm now . . ." Bakura said muttering to himself.  
  
"I'll just sun tan . . ."  
  
ON THE SAND ON THE BEACH  
  
"Okay, I'll have a tan, then get off this beach. Bakura set his towel down just as a shadow came over him. Bakura looked up in annoyance.  
  
"Put that umbrella somewhere else I'm trying to tan here!" Bakura said with a scowl.  
  
"No way man, we were here eons before you dude!" A big blond haired teenager said.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!?" Bakura shouted remembering what the little girl said.  
  
"Dude? Is that the same thing? It sure sounds like it! HE CALLED ME A PIECE OF *Censored*!!!!!!"  
  
"Umm . . . whaddaya mean man? I called ya a dude!" The teen said in confusion.  
  
"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura yelled and threw himself on the blond.  
  
"Fight, fight, fight, fight," chanted a small crowd.  
  
"What was the little guy so mad about?" One asked.  
  
"Seems our man Jeff call him a dude, dude," said another.  
  
"Well that doesn't make sense . . ." the first one said perplexed.  
  
"Well, the dude is English . . . maybe dude is an insult over there . . ." said another guy behind them.  
  
"For an English Dude, he doesn't speak it very well does he?" the second asked.  
  
Meanwhile Bakura had given Jeff a black eye. Jeff finally backed off.  
  
"Sorry man, I mean, what's with you dude!?!?" He asked.  
  
"YOU CALLED ME IT AGAIN!!!" Bakura shouted.  
  
"Yo, man, dude isn't a burn dude, it's just . . . like . . . uhh . . . like," One kid started.  
  
"It's like a name!" Another kid finished.  
  
"My name isn't Dude, and how can a name be a burn? That doesn't make sense I was trying to get a tan and I haven't much less a burn! You're all psycho!" Bakura said in frustration.  
  
"No, no, no man, we're just cool, Jeff is a little psycho though in a cool way, and dude you're a very confusing English fella."  
  
"I'm CONFUSING??? Stop calling me dude!!! My name is Bakura!"  
  
"Yo then Kura!" Jeff said, "We got off on the uncool start man, it was like a total bummer, so we should all just take a chill pill and hang sound good?" Jeff asked.  
  
"If I wanted a chill I would go back in the water . . . and if I wanted to be hung I'd steal some coke! And why do you keep saying cool? It's a really, really hot day! I learned that in that stupid line!" Bakura mumbled. Everyone laughed.  
  
"Hey, Kura man, you're funny!"  
  
"Don't call me . . ." Bakura began.  
  
"Kura man, this is my main man Derek, he's like a total surf'n sun man, he's like total cool on a white wave man," Jeff said.  
  
"Umm . . . right . . . Surf?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Yo, Kura man, haven't you ever surfed before in England?" Derek asked.  
  
"Umm . . . no . . ." Bakura said, how did he meet these idiots?  
  
"MAN, I mean . . . word dude, Kura, you gotta try it! It's the ultra excellent experience!"  
  
"The water's too cold!" Bakura said.  
  
"Don't worry dude . . . I mean Kura, we'll set you up!"  
  
"I think I'll decline thank you . . ."  
  
ON THE WATER  
  
"Okay Kura, now just remember, once you see you're extreme to the max wave you gotta catch it like you never caught a wave before!" Derek explained.  
  
"I've never caught a wave before! How is it possible to catch a wave anyway?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Man Kura, you got such a good sense o humor, I mean, word, you're the funniest little dude I've ever meant!" Jeff laughed.  
  
ON THE ULTIMATE EXTREME WAVE  
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura said looking at the huge wave coming at him. Remarkably he managed to stay on the board and ride the wave.  
  
O.O O.O O.o o.o -.- o.o -.^ ^.^ ^___^ ^______^  
  
"Hey, this is kinda fun actually!" Bakura shouted, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . . ." suddenly another huge wave came, "GAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M DROWNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura shouted. Bakura finally washed up on shore and lay there for an hour until Jeff found him.  
  
"Do you need mouth to mouth dude? Cause I might be able to get that blond over there to do it for ya . . ." Jeff said to the angry Bakura.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PATHETIC MORTAL!!!!!!!!!" Bakura shouted (A.N.: I was wondering when he was going to say that . . .)  
  
"OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Bakura said when he touched his arm.  
  
"Wow Kura dude, you got a killer burn there." Derek said.  
  
"A killer burn? A burn can kill me here? WHAT KIND OF A PLACE IS THIS?!?!?!!??!?! HOW LONG DO I LIVE!?!?!??!?!?! I'LL NEED ANOTHER HIKARI BECAUSE OF YOU IDIOTS!!!!! DAMN YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM, YOU'RE LUCKY I'M NOT DOING THAT TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!! IS THIS THE EFFECTS OF THAT GLOBAL WARMING? GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed running off to try to find a cure for the 'killer' sunburn.  
  
"What an odd little funny talking English dude . . ." Derek said to Jeff, Jeff nodded.  
  
"Yeah Man, but did you see the ultimate wave he was hanging ten on? He was like the ultimate surfer dude, we should find him one day and ask him to surf again huh?"  
  
"Totally dude."  
  
AT THE PHARMACY  
  
"This will ease you're burn Mr. Bakura," Said the old lady at the pharmacy.  
  
"Are you sure? The idiots at the beach said it was a Killer!" Bakura said looking at his lobster red arms and legs.  
  
"Well it is a 'killer' as the lingo goes, but this will take care of it, don't worry," the kind old lady said with a smile. Bakura nodded, "Thanks." He said rubbing most of it all over his arms and legs. He wrinkled his nose, "It smells really bad . . ." He said  
  
"Well we have some cheaper no cent kinds but it doesn't cure a 'killer' burn like that as well."  
  
"Okay, I'll go with the terrible smelling one then," Bakura said quickly.  
  
ON THE STREET  
  
"Okay, according to my ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!!!!!!!!! The arcade is next, I play a few games, get some pizza, chips and coke and then I move on again, okay, nothing can go wrong this time, the beach was just a fluke."  
  
"Bakura!" Marik said running up to him.  
  
"Oh, hello Marik . . ." Bakura said cautiously.  
  
"Don't worry Bakura, I've changed, I've realized my error in life and I plan to go on the straight and narrow. It's all thanks to you when you tried to save me from my body thieving Yami, so I'd like to give you the Millennium Rod, it's my gift to you, please take it." Marik said holding out the Millennium Rod.  
  
"No, you can't mean it . . . not today! Why not yesterday, or the tomorrow, or the day after, or next week, NOT TODAY WHY MARIK WHY TODAY?" Bakura yelled.  
  
"Come on Bakura take it!" Marik shouted trying to shove it into Bakura's hands.  
  
"I can't damn you!" Bakura yelled back shoving Marik away.  
  
"WELL I GUESS I WAS WRONG!!! THE WORLD DOESN'T DESERVE A GOOD ME!!! THAT'S IT I'M EVIL AGAIN AND YOU'LL NEVER GET MY ITEM AND I SHALL RULE THE WORLD MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marik yelled running off to make up for the hour of evilness he didn't do.  
  
"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO COLD TURKEY TODAY???" Bakura yelled.  
  
IN ARCADE  
  
"Okay, I'll just play some Kill the Toad and then get some pizza, it will take my mind off Marik . . ." Bakura said heading for his favorite game. Unfortunately . . .  
  
"Out of order . . ." Bakura read . . . "What does that mean? Does it mean the orders of the levels are wrong? Well I can play this game upside down inside out!" Bakura put a dollar in the machine, it didn't work, "What the hell? It took my money! I will not be insulted like this!!!" Bakura said shaking the machine. The machine made a strange sound and started beeping.  
  
"Don't even think that you're pathetic beeping will faze me you pathetic metal!" Bakura said shaking it even more. Finally, the machine seemingly had enough of the Yami and promptly shocked him.  
  
"ZZZZZAPPP!!! GAAAAAAHHHHZZZZZZZZZZZ(TWITCH)ZZZZZZZZZ . . . owwwwwwwwww . . ."  
"Hey what are you doing? That machine doesn't work you idiot! Now it's even more worse than it was before!!!!!"  
  
"Huh?" Bakura asked in confusion. Bakura then shrugged, "I want my dollar back! It ate my dollar! I demand my dollar!!!!!"  
"You're lucky I don't charge you for the machine!!!!"  
"Must not send pathetic mortal to the shadow realm . . ." Bakura muttered as he walked away.  
  
FIVE MINUTES LATER!!!  
  
"I would like a Pizza, some chips and a Coke please," Bakura said calmly to a waitress.  
  
"Sure think Cutie! -.^" The waitress said with a wink. Bakura blushed. He needed someone to brag to . . . even one of Ryou's pathetic friends . . . well what do you know . . . at that moment Joey stepped into the arcade.  
  
"Hello Joey." Bakura said acting like Ryou.  
  
"Oh, hey Bakura! Wuz up?" Joey asked.  
  
"Huh? Why would anything be up?" Bakura asked. (A.N. Bakura really needs to learn the modern lingo doesn't he?)  
  
"Heh, heh, good one," Joey said with a smile sitting down beside Bakura. He looked over to the Waitress.  
  
"Hey I think she likes you!" Joey said with a wink. Bakura nodded with a grin and then stopped and wondered why on earth the winking of the eye even meant anything . . . it was even big when Pharaoh Pip-squeak ruled Egypt . . . weird . . .  
  
"Here's you're food!" She said with another wink.  
  
'Hmmm . . . maybe she's not actually winking . . . maybe it's a nervous twitch . . . either way I'm good!'  
  
"Thank you," Bakura said with a smile. Joey meanwhile was eyeing Bakura's food.  
  
"I'm Ruby," The waitress said winking once again.  
  
'Defiantly a twitch . . .'  
  
"I'm Bakura . . ." Bakura said also winking. Joey tapped him on the shoulder, "Mind if I have some?" he asked . . . with a wink -___-;;;  
  
"Yeah sure whatever," Bakura said still looking at Ruby.  
  
"Hey Ruby let's go!" a big leather Jacket wearing motorcyclist said coming in. Ruby pouted slightly wrote down something on the bill and then mouthed 'Call me!' then left. Bakura blinked.  
  
"She has a boy friend?" Bakura asked looking out the window seeing Ruby give the cyclist a huge hug and kiss.  
  
"Guess so!" Joey said with a mouth full of food.  
  
"What the . . . JOEY DID YOU EAT ALL MY FOOD???" Bakura yelled looking the scraps left on his plate.  
  
"Ummm . . . yes . . . it was really good too . . . sorry?" Joey asked with a small smile.  
  
'Must not send to shadow realm!' Bakura chanted in his mind leaving the arcade without another word.  
  
ON THE STREET  
  
"Okay what's next on the list? Minnie Golf? Okay then!" Bakura said looking at his ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!  
"The Beach, Arcade and Marik were just a coincidence!" Bakura said going toward the golf course.  
  
TBC  
  
Rainyday: I'm gonna stop it there for now.  
  
Bakura: I . . . hate . . . ...  
  
Rainyday: MUAHAHAHAHA I'm evil! (Sings evil song) I'm the fly in your soup, I'm the pebble in you're shoe and I do it all because I EVILLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! The devil tips his hat to me I do it all because I'm EVIIIILLLLLLL  
  
Ryou: Riiiight -_____-;;;;; Just read and review and she'll put up another chapter and stop singing the evil song . . . . . . . . . I hope.  
  
Bakura: (Plugs ears) Ra please make it stop! X.X 


	2. Minnie Golf, Kaiba's Habbits, and the Um...

Bakura's Day Off  
  
Part II  
  
Rainyday: This'll be good, I mean so many people love seeing you make a fool of yourself.  
  
Bakura: WHAT!?!?!?!?  
  
Ryou: ^___^ Yup, just looking in the review box, everyone loves you're antics.  
  
Rainyday: Antics? I wouldn't call it antics, I would call I buffoonery!  
  
Bakura: But . . . I . . . I don't act like that normally!!!!  
  
Rainyday: Could have fooled me . . .  
  
Bakura: Grrrrr . . . why do you do this to me?  
  
Rainyday: Why? (Starts singing) I do it all because I'm EVILLLLLLL  
  
Bakura/Ryou: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Rainyday: Meh. Ryou, why don't you do the disclaimer, it's really fun!  
  
Ryou: Rainyday does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, that's right her stories are like the points on Who's Line is it Anyway they just don't matter, let's start the story.  
  
ON THE STREET  
  
"Okay what's next on the list? Minnie Golf? Okay then!" Bakura said looking at his ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!  
"The Beach, Arcade and Marik were just a coincidence!" Bakura said going toward the golf course.  
  
AT THE GOLF COURSE  
  
"I play the game and get some coke to freshen me then the next thing."  
  
"A game for one please," Bakura said to the person at the counter.  
  
"Umm . . . yeah, that would be good, but this is such a popular place now we are now pairing smaller groups up to save time and golfing fun!" The man said.  
  
"So I need other people to play? Where am I going to find them on such short notice?" Bakura asked a little disappointed.  
  
"No, no, no, sir, please have no worries, we pair you up with a smaller group, those two over there have been waiting for quite awhile . . . mostly because the tall one keeps insulting anyone we send over . . ." Bakura looked over. He nearly choked and then looked at the golf man again, "You're kidding right?"  
  
"Why? Do you know him?"  
  
"You could say that . . ."  
  
"Wonderful, you can play with them! Mr. Kaiba, we found someone!"  
  
Kaiba turned around, "Are you kidding? I am not! NOT!!! Golfing with one of Yugi's pathetic friends. No way!" Mokuba looked up at his brother with his big eyes, "Big brother! We've been waiting for someone that doesn't annoy you for hours! Bakura's not that bad. He did help save me from Pegasus's thugs at Duelist Kingdom . . . besides! He hardly even talks!" Kaiba tried to say no, tried to not look at his little brothers puppy dog eyes . . . but he failed.  
  
"Oh, alright, Bakura . . . I guess you're with us . . . don't make me regret this . . ." Kaiba muttered. Bakura narrowed his eyes slightly but said nothing.  
  
"Okay guys what colour ball do you want?" The Golf man asked.  
  
"Blue," Kaiba said instantly and was given the blue ball.  
  
"Ummm . . . orange!" Mokuba said with a smile.  
  
"I'll have green . . ." Bakura said still eyeing Kaiba.  
  
"I'm sorry sir we're out of Green . . ." The G.M. (Golf Man) said.  
  
"Okay . . . white."  
  
"Nope . . . no white either . . ." G.M. said scratching his head.  
  
"Red?"  
  
"Let's see . . . nope . . . no reds either . . ."  
  
"Yellow?"  
  
"Wow . . . no yellow . . . huh . . ."  
  
"Black?"  
  
"There's no such thing as a black golf ball I don't think . . . hmmm . . . nah, it would be too hard to spot . . ."  
  
"Well what colour do you have?!?!?" Bakura asked angrily. G.M. blinked, "Oh . . . okay let's see . . . erm . . . there's only one colour left . . ." G.M. looked up a Bakura apologetically,  
  
"Pink . . ."  
  
"Pink?!?!?!" Bakura asked wide eyed, "You must be joking!!!"  
  
"Sorry . . . it's all we have left . . ." G.M. said.  
  
"But . . . PINK?!?!?!?!"  
  
"Yes . . ." G.M. said handing Bakura the ball. It was a hot pink monster with the words Lady Bug on it with a grinning winking ladybug seemingly leaning on the words.  
  
"Oh Ra . . ." Bakura muttered, "Why me?"  
  
((Because you're a body thieving soul stealing Tomb Robber?))  
  
(((You!?!?! You can hear in there?))) Bakura asked.  
  
((Yes, I figured if you could do it with me, I could do it to you. Having some trouble today aren't you? A day off? For a human sized leech such as yourself?))  
  
(((I could hurt you, you know that right?)))  
  
((Yes, but then you hurt yourself don't you?))  
  
(((Not necessarily, you see you're a weakling, I'm strong)))  
  
((Either way I'm enjoying this too much to be scared by you, you fiend!))  
  
(((Well too bad because after this nothing shall go wrong!)))  
  
((Okay, whatever you say ^_________^))  
  
(((Smug little jerk)))  
  
((Self absorbed Wretch!))  
  
(((Weakling)))  
  
((Pea Brain))  
  
(((Are you kidding? Which line up were you in when they were handing out brains?)))  
  
((Wouldn't you know? You were in the same line as me!)) Ryou said then retreated back into his soul room.  
  
"STUPID SMUG LITTLE . . ." Kaiba punched Bakura in the eye.  
  
"GAH!!!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!?!" Bakura shouted.  
  
"YOU CALLED MY LITTLE BROTHER A JERK RIGHT IN HIS FACE, I WILL NOT LET YOU INSULT MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kaiba shouted about to lunged at Bakura again.  
  
"WHAT?!?!? NO!!! I WASN'T TALKING TO YOUR BROTHER!!!!!!!!" Bakura shouted.  
  
"Who were you talking to?!?!?!?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"My other half!" Bakura explained.  
  
"What?" Mokuba asked.  
  
"My other half, the little . . . why are you looking at me like that Kaiba?"  
  
"I think you've heard one too many friendship speeches from Yugi." Kaiba muttered.  
  
"What?" Bakura asked. Mokuba looked up.  
  
"You have an invisible friend too?" Mokuba asked. Kaiba looked at his brother in horror, "Mokuba don't . . ."  
  
"What do you mean?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Seto has one too! His name is Little Seto . . . he talks to him a lot in the bathroom." Mokuba in formed Bakura. Kaiba turned red.  
  
"Mokuba . . ." Kaiba said turning into a tomato. Bakura started laughing . . . he really couldn't stop, with tears in his eyes he said, "I really didn't wanna know that . . . but now that I do . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LITTLE SETO? THAT'S RICH!!!! THAT'S JUST SO . . . BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I'll give you $300 dollars if you don't tell anyone . . . especially YUGI!?!?!?" Kaiba's eyes widened. Bakura turned and saw a red faced, embarrassed looking Yugi, a giggling Tea and Tristan and a laughing Joey that was currently rolling on the ground.  
  
"HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR?!?!?!?" Kaiba asked in panic. Yugi became even redder if that was possible.  
  
"Ummm . . . from the part where Mokuba said Seto has one too . . . heh heh . . ." Yugi started giggling, then laughing, crying, and then rolling on the ground with Joey, "KAIBA HAHAHAHA, I . . . I HAHAHA, DIDN'T THINK . . . BWAHAHAHAHA, THAT . . . THAT . . . You would ever . . . talk to . . . HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . . . . . . ehem . . ." Yugi calmed himself then looked at Kaiba . . . an burst into laughter again.  
  
"BAKURA THIS IS YOU'RE FAULT!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO HURT YOU NOW SO START RUNNING!!!!!!!!" Yugi and his friends, still giggling blocked him off from the also still chuckling Bakura. Mokuba blinked.  
  
"It's not that funny guys! Lots of people have imaginary friends, like Bakura, he does!" Mokuba said innocently. Everyone turned and looked at Bakura.  
  
"Mine's a little different from Kaiba's," Bakura said pointing to the ring. Yugi nodded finally able to stop laughing only giving little chuckles when he looked at Kaiba's stern face.  
  
"You're right Mokuba," Joey finally said smiling like it was the best day of his life, "You're right . . . lots of people talk to there little . . . selves . . . heh heh heh . . . HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Joey was again rolling on the floor. Kaiba lunged at Bakura again, "YOU IDIOT!!!" He shouted. Tristan blocked Kaiba . . . sorta . . . Kaiba was faster and stronger than him, but he did a good job in blocking him.  
  
"Why are you doing here anyway Yugi?" Kaiba asked. "Well . . . you might not actually . . . like this . . . but . . . umm the Golf Guy said we had to go with you . . ." Yugi said holding up a purple ball.  
  
"MOKUBA WE'RE LEAVING!!!!!!!!" Kaiba shouted.  
  
"Aww . . . but Big brother!" Mokuba said as he was taken by the hand.  
  
"We are not staying!!!" Kaiba said giving all of them a vicious glare.  
  
"Kaiba . . ." Bakura said.  
  
"WHAT IS IT!?!?!?!" Kaiba shouted.  
  
"I was just wonder why you didn't bribe the golf man . . ." Bakura said innocently. Actually he was really curious.  
  
"I forgot my wallet and only had what I had in my jacket . . ." He muttered something about the guy not knowing greatness when he saw it.  
  
"Oh, and Bakura?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"Yes . . .?" Bakura asked cautiously.  
  
"From now on, if I were you, I'd keep one eye open when I sleep. C'mon Mokuba," Kaiba said dragging the small boy away. Bakura blinked.  
  
"Why do I have the feeling that wasn't an idle threat?" Bakura asked.  
  
HALF AN HOUR LATER  
  
Bakura played with Ryou's friends and they would NOT shut up about friendship, their loved ones, or goodness in general. He was neck and neck with Yugi . . . it was funny though because it was not the Pharaoh that was playing.  
  
"Yugi, how did you get so good at Golf?" Joey asked, so far, he was losing by a landslide; he didn't have any patience for Golf.  
  
"Huh? Oh I don't know . . . pool I guess . . ." Yugi answered lining up a shot.  
  
"Pool?" Tea and Tristan asked.  
  
"Yeah, I play it all the time, it's the line of the angles, regular golf I'm not so great at, but Minnie Golf I can do because I know which angles to hit!" Yugi said with a smile getting a hole in one. It was then that he realized something.  
  
"Wait . . . how did you guys get a ball colour other than pink . . ." Bakura asked looking at Yugi's Purple ball.  
  
"Oh, we just waited until some other people were done. It only took a few minutes," Yugi answered.  
  
'Figures . . .' Bakura thought to himself. Then did Thunder struck his golf club . . . (Poetic licence, what I mean is that a storm suddenly came and his club conducted lighting . . . it came in really fast I guess). "Owww. . ." Bakura mumbled.  
  
"Are you okay Bakura?!?!?" Yugi asked in concern.  
  
"I swear Pharaoh, I found your mothers necklace on the ground . . ." Bakura muttered, "I mean . . . owww . . . umm . . . I'm okay . . . I think . . . yeah . . . I'm good . . . I'm going now . . . this course is bad for your health . . . in fact, if I could I would send them to the . . ." He was about to say Shadow realm, but knew that would blow his cover so he said, "Court for all the money they got . . . but I don't think I will . . . ta ta . . ."  
  
ON THE STREET  
  
Bakura was soaked by now from the sudden rain and decided to buy an Umbrella. He saw an Umbrella seller twirling his wears and came up to him.  
  
"I'd like an . . ." Bakura started.  
  
"Umbrella? Yes I should think so, I also have coats, boots and any other sort of rain protection if you'd like!" The man said as he moved the umbrella so that Bakura could see his face.  
  
"I don't believe this . . ." Bakura muttered, "Shaadi . . . I didn't know you sold umbrellas . . ." Shaadi looked up at him.  
  
"It was my life long dream . . ." Shaadi sighed, "You see, it all started back in Egypt . . . it never rained there as much as I would have wanted it to I was a poor Umbrella seller in the streets, it never of course rained enough for me to be anything but poor . . . I still never stopped I loved the rain so much I saved up . . . I dreamed of going to Canada . . . maybe British Colombia around Vancouver . . . with all the lovely rain they get . . ." Shaadi looked like he had tears in his eyes, "But alas no . . . I stumbled upon the Millennium items . . . they called to me and I took two . . ." Shaadi showed Bakura the Scale and key, "I . . . I found my destiny would not be with the rain . . . no . . . I . . . I had to protect the items and, and . . ." Shaadi collapsed in Bakura's arms cried, "And this is the first time I've been able to sell the beautiful umbrellas for years! Oh I'm just so happy today . . . Never have I been so happy!!!" Bakura nodded and comforted Shaadi . . . then he realized . . .  
  
"Oh no . . ." Bakura muttered starting to cry himself. He now, had the perfect opportunity to steal two items . . . right now . . . and it would work . . . Shaadi wouldn't know until he was blocks away. . . but he couldn't, "DAMN IT, IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura yelled.  
  
"Yes, I know, never to be near the rain until now, yes it is very sad . . ." Shaadi said, "Here's a free Umbrella, use it in good health!" Shaadi said handing Bakura a black and green umbrella with the pattern of the eye of Horus on it.  
  
"Thanks . . ." Bakura said with a sniffle walking away.  
  
ON ANOTHER PART OF THE STREET  
  
Bakura was very glum walking through the rain with his new umbrella, he sighed, "I might as well check my ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!!!!!!!!!! That'll cheer me up . . ." Bakura said looking at THE LIST!!!!!!!  
  
"Aah yes, the Zoo/Aquarium, that's always fun, seeing animals caged up in a mere glimmer of their natural habitat!" Bakura said with a smirk. The storm suddenly was gone quicker than it came (With help from the Authoress) and Bakura went merrily toward the Zoo.  
  
Rainyday: Yes, I know most of this was making fun of Kaiba, but it had to be done! Oh and Kaiba fans and followers (Blocks face from flaming Reviews and toilet paper) PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: I really, really hate . . .  
  
Ryou: Everything in general?  
  
Bakura: . . . . . . . . . yes . . .  
  
Rainyday: Good! This chapter wasn't as good as the first I know but it will be better at the zoo . . . just think of it, Bakura at the Zoo . . .  
  
Ryou: . . . ^____________^ I can hardly wait!!!  
  
Rainyday: Review, review and more reviews, review twice if necessary! I want them, ALL OF THEM and kill the rest MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: You're not alright . . . -_____-;;; you watched lord of the rings again didn't you?  
  
Rainyday: Hey! ANYWAY!!! Ryou tell the about the stories!  
  
Ryou: What stories? Oh yeah those ones, I can hardly remember them!  
  
Rainyday: I know, they're fading away because of lack of reviews . . . T.T  
  
Ryou: Right, right, anyway, Rainyday has this other story call Never Trust a Prophecy, it's about Yugi and what happens after he gets the God cards. It's also an A.U. Because she only has an inkling of what happens in Battle city. Six chapters in it so far, it's pretty good . . . not humor though but it has a lot of one liners and stuff . . .  
  
Rainyday: PLEASE READ IT!!! IF FEEL LIKE NO ONE CARES WHAT HAPPENS IF YAMI . . . oops . . . almost let it slip! There are a few other stories that I am helping to write.  
  
ZaNeY Commercials goes Yu-Gi-Oh: The story of the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh being forced to do terrible (Terribly funny that is) Commercials for products and stores such as . . . Wal-Mart, Mc Donalds, and Nintendo. It's a funny one. To find this Fic look for the Authoress Sabotage. The Story of Yugi and the Soul Swappers: Join Kishanta, Eo, Sab and Korey in the adventure of . . . wit, skill, and making fun of Yu-Gi-Oh characters (as usual). The story of four girls that break into the Yu-Gi-Oh universe . . . it will never be the same again . . . the last few chapters of it have bad formatting and dark- one plans to fix it. Look for dark- one3 and you shall find this insane adventure. And Lastly, coming soon to Fanfiction.net near you, Yami, Yugi, ??? a story solely by Sabotage, I'm not helping and neither is Dark, it's her own. I won't give away the plot cause Sab would stick another knife in my back, and she's re-doing it a little, but it will soon be up and ready, it is action adventure and insulting poor little Yugi's dependability on Yami!  
  
Bakura: Are you advertising you and your friends pathetic stories, that's  
just . . .  
  
Ryou: Not that I agree with Bakura or anything but I believe the word  
your looking for is Pathetic.  
  
Bakura: Right!  
  
Rainyday: . Just remember who's writing this story Bakura.  
  
Bakura: GULP!!!!!!!! O.O o.O O.O HELP ME!!!!!!!! 


	3. Bakura's Favorite Animal

Bakura: I can't believe you Rainyday!  
  
Rainyday: Huh? Sorry wasn't listening, just looking at all the wonderful, fabulous, fantastic . . .  
  
Ryou: I think she'll be at this for awhile. . .  
  
Bakura: But I wanna complain! LOOK AT THIS RYOU SHE'S MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A PATHETIC MORTAL!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: I know isn't it great?  
  
Rainyday: Caring, great, inspiring . . .  
  
Bakura: I'm not a dork!  
  
Rainyday: Loving, terrific, yes you are, courteous . . .  
  
Ryou: I think they get it . . .  
  
Rainyday: Reviews. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: -__________-;;; anyway . . . Rainyday doesn't own us . . .  
  
Bakura: THANK RA!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: But that doesn't mean she can't make Bakura look like a dork. . .  
  
Bakura: GRRRR!!!!!!  
  
AT THE ZOO/AQURIUM  
  
Bakura walked into the zoo/aquarium (Now just called Zoo cause I'm lazy) Bakura decided to go and look the birds first.  
  
"I'll look at birds, then see some loins, and tigers and bears . . . hmm . . . that sounded familiar . . . anyway, then I see some other animals, then some fish, I'll see the whale show, get a coke then . . . then see my FAVORITE ANIMAL IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
AT THE BIRD PLACE  
  
"Hmmm . . . what interesting creatures . . ." Bakura said looking at a black bird that was in front of him. He looked over at the sign.  
  
[The Raven] it said [loves shiny objects, it is a scavener and eats a lot of garbage]  
  
"Huh, likes shiny things and eats garbage . . . sounds like that nit wit Joey . . ." Bakura mumbled, then he had an idea.  
  
"So you like shiny things eh birdy boy? Well what about this?" He asked holding out the Millennium eye. The Raven tried to grab it with its beak, Bakura quickly pulled it away. He then put it in front of the bird again. Once again the bird tried to snag it and once again he quickly pulled back.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha, oh this is fun!" Bakura said holding it out again. This time the bird took flight and quickly grabbed the eye and flew away.  
  
"HEY!!! NO!! THAT'S MINE!!!" Bakura shouted chasing after the bird. The bird flew into a flock of crows.  
  
"COME BACK!!!!!!" Bakura yelled, "COME ON I'LL GIVE YOU A SHINY NEW NICKLE!!!" Bakura ran into the group of crows and tripped over the raven with the eye. The raven squawked and took flight again, but he dropped the millennium eye on the stunned Bakura's eye lid.  
  
"Owww . . ." Bakura muttered.  
  
"BIG BROTHER!!! HELP!!! IT'S PEGASUS COME QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh no . . ." Bakura managed to mutter before Kaiba's fist contacted with his face.  
  
"Owww, damn it you pathetic mortal!" Bakura said standing up and putting the eye back in his pocket.  
  
"BAKURA!!! RUN BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE MURDERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kaiba said running after Bakura.  
  
"GAH!!!" Bakura said running away from the angry Kaiba knowing he couldn't send him to the shadow realm. He quickly jumped into one of the animal Habitats and hid.  
  
"GRRR Where did that Bas . . . bad person go?" Kaiba asked obviously having Mokuba beside him once again.  
  
"Big brother! You promised to have fun!!!" Bakura heard Mokuba complain.  
  
"How is staring at a bunch of imprisoned animals fun Mokuba?" Kaiba asked his voice getting fainter.  
  
"Phew . . ." Bakura said whipping sweat off his for head then turning around to meet a baby Kangaroo in front of him.  
  
"GAH! A Giant mouse!" Bakura said taking a step back. The joey took another hop toward him. Bakura not knowing what a Kangaroo was . . . and obviously who never seeing Sylvester and Tweety thought it was a huge mutated mouse.  
  
"Get back mouse or I'll get a cat on you . . . maybe a tiger . . ." Bakura said nervously. Suddenly a mother Kangaroo can up behind her son.  
  
"GAAAAAAAHHHHHH THEY'RE GETTING BIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura yelled jumping out of the habitat.  
  
"Fish, fish next, fish can't hurt me!" Bakura said quickly walking into the aquarium half of the zoo.  
  
AT THE TURTLE PETTING ZOO  
  
"Come on kid, give it a pat, it won't hurt you," the caretaker of the Turtles and Man named Tutal (Okay).  
  
"Why would I want to pet a turtle? And why would a turtle want to be pat?" Bakura asked sceptically.  
  
"Come on Boyo, they love it when someone give them a rub, go on!" Tutal said.  
  
"Okay . . ." Bakura said about to pat one of the turtles. The turtle looked up and bit Bakura's finger.  
  
"GAAAAAAAAAAAH FREAKIN TURTLE!!! THAT'S IT TURTLES ARE NOW MY LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL!!!!!!!!!" Bakura said stalking off to look for a bandaid.  
  
LATER  
  
The stand that sold drinks was of course closed and the whale show was full, so Bakura decided to go see his favourite animal . . . the mole. You see . . . he had a huge fondness of Moles . . . maybe because of their clever tunnels or something but whatever it was he loved them . . .  
  
AT THE MOLE EXIBIT PLACE  
  
Bakura looked at three holes in front of him.  
  
"Where are the moles? I see no moles! Where are the noblest creatures of the earth!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Bakura asked looking around getting strange looks from the people standing around him. Everyone quickly left the crazed spirit to his . . . look out for the moles getting bored and rather disturbed.  
  
After an hour of waiting for the moles to appear Bakura had finally had enough.  
  
"If those beautiful creatures won't come to me, I'll come to them!" Bakura said jumping into the mole exhibit.  
  
"Here moles, come here, I'm your friend." Bakura said looking into one of the holes. A moles head popped up.  
  
"Awww, it's so cute!!!" Bakura said patting the mole gently on it's head. Yes, the great Bakura, Bakura who was trying to take over the world, Bakura who sent people to the shadow realm had a weakness . . . for moles . . . (A.N. -______-;;;) The mole started smelling Bakura's hand suspiciously. It then climbed out of its hole and sat on Bakura's foot.  
  
"I . . . I think it like's me!" Bakura said happily. Bakura looked around, "You shouldn't be caged up like this! You should be free, free as a bird . . . well . . . most birds unlike that stupid raven . . . anyway, I'll bet you'd rather come with me!" Bakura said picking up the mole.  
  
OUTSIDE THE ZOO  
  
Bakura got out with an expert thieves quickness. (Hey he was a tomb robber after all, he's not that much of a klutz) He held the mole in front of his face, the mole rubbed noses with him trying to get it's bearings.  
  
"AWWW!!! I knew you'd be happier with me! I'll call you . . . Milton, yes, Milton Bakura.  
  
At Bakura's House  
  
"There, you're all set up Milton!" Bakura said after 'Milton' had made a new tunnel in the backyard.  
  
"Well now, the Zoo wasn't that great . . . until I met Milton . . . now time for another fun thing to do according to my . . . ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . maybe it will be right for once," Bakura looked at the long list.  
  
DING DONG!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"Huh? The door bell . . . arg . . ." Bakura said leaving Milton to his own devices.  
  
"HelLO?" Bakura said staring at a two huge cop staring down at him.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Bakura is it? We're here concerning a Mole . . ." the first said.  
  
"Marvin the mole!" The other added  
  
"What a dumb name for a mole . . ." Bakura muttered.  
  
"Mr. Bakura! Apparently you, were the last one at the mole pen when he disappeared. Now, do you know where our mole is or will we have to search the premises?"  
  
"No! I mean . . . yes . . . I mean . . ."  
  
"Okay Steward, time to play a game of find the mole!" The first cop said pushing Bakura out of the way. The cops searched the entire house.  
  
"No mole here Brooks . . ." Steward said scratching his head.  
  
"There has to be . . . wait, moles need dirt! And where do you find dirt Steward?" Brooks asked.  
  
"Politics!" Steward answered.  
  
"Yes . . . but you find lots of dirt outside as well, let's go!" Brooks said leading his partner and the helpless Bakura outside.  
  
"There's a mole there Brooks," Steward said pointing to 'Milton'  
  
"Right Steward, let's go," Brooks said picking up the confused mole.  
  
"NO!!! DON'T TAKE MILTON!!!!" Bakura yelled.  
  
"Come on Brooks, job well done if I do say so myself."  
  
"Wait Steward, what's the moles name again?" Brooks asked examining the Mole.  
  
"Marvin why?" Steward asked  
  
"Don't you see? This isn't the right mole, this is Milton the mole, not Marvin . . . hmm . . . this must be a red herring to throw us off the REAL mole thief! Let's go! Sorry about that Mr. Bakura, here's your mole back." Brooks said running off with Steward behind him.  
  
"Well . . . that . . . was close . . ." Bakura said clutching his mole. Kissing it on the head (A.N.: O.o) he put it back in it's tunnel and looked at this ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!!!!!!!!! Again.  
  
"Let me see . . . did the beach, nearly got killed . . . arcades done . . . got shocked . . . Minnie golf check . . . also got electrocuted and am now on the hit list of Kaiba . . . Zoo done . . . a turtle bit me, Kaiba tried to kill me, a Raven almost took the millennium eye, and I could have been attacked by two giant mice . . . on the plus side I did met Milton, what's next? The museum . . . that's fun? What was I thinking when I wrote that one? Hmm . . . maybe I picked it up from that twit Ryou . . ."  
  
((Who are you calling a twit?))  
  
(((You bird brain!)))  
  
((That animal is not staying in MY backyard by the way!))  
  
(((Touch Milton and I'll have to find a new vessel!!!)))  
  
((Brute!))  
  
(((Pipsqueak)))  
  
((Turtle food!)) Ryou shouted retreating back to his soul room.  
  
"STUPID TWIT!!!" Bakura yelled and sighed, "Well, if museum is on the LIST!!! It's on the LIST!!!  
  
Rainyday: Good Milton (Backs up from mole in fear)  
  
Bakura: MUHAHAHAHA sic her Milton! TAKE NO PRISONERS!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA REVENGE IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: O.o umm . . . you do know that a mole is an insectivore?  
  
Bakura: Milton's not an insect you pathetic excuse for a vessel he's a mole!!!  
  
Ryou: -________-;;; it means he only eats insects you dolt!!!  
  
Rainyday: Oh yeah . . . (Picks up mole give it a bug to eat)  
  
Bakura: Unhand my mole you fiend!!!  
  
Rainyday: Whatever . . . Milton? Is that the best name you could come up with?  
  
Bakura: What's wrong with Milton? Milton is a fine name for a mole!!!  
  
Rainyday: You could have been more creative . . .  
  
Bakura: Shut up, Milton suits him!  
  
Milton: (Has absolutely no idea what his name is and what's going on) 


	4. Isis and her Lost Love, The Cellaphane, ...

Rainyday: Thank you soooo much for your Review CheetorX because otherwise I would not have known that the whole story skipped and it just had my lame Author's notes, no one wants to here me babble on unless Bakura's sanity is involved! So thank you! If you hadn't reviewed no one would know what happens to poor ol' Bakura! Now on with the Show!  
  
Bakura: Oh no . . . (Hugs mole) she's doing another chapter and is trying to ruin my rep even more! Milton do something!!!  
  
Milton: (Sniffs the air in confusion)  
  
Rainyday: Thanks to all who reviewed, it keeps me writing.  
  
Bakura: . . . so that's where you get your power . . .  
  
Rainyday: riiight -_________-;;;  
  
Bakura: I hate you! This is such a bad story! I REALLY HATE IT YOU FIEND!!!!!!!!  
  
Rainyday: THAT'S IT!!! I'M TIRED OF YOU INSULTING MY STORY!!! I'LL BE BACK BY NEXT CHAPTER . . . (Breaths) until then Ryou, you hold down the fort . . . and make sure Bakura doesn't change anything . . .  
  
Ryou: 0.0 ARE YOU NUTS!!! I can't hold him back! You're MY protection!!!  
  
Rainyday: Good point . . . hmmm . . . okay (Snaps finger)  
  
Inuyasha (Different Anime show really good!): What the Heck?  
  
Rainyday: Inuyasha, you have to protect Ryou from Bakura.  
  
Inuyasha: Eh? What the? I don't even know who you are! In fact I should just tear you to pieces now!  
  
Rainyday: 0.0  
  
Ryou: O.o???  
  
Bakura: YES!!! Do it! Do it!  
  
Inuyasha: ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: DO SOMETHING RAINYDAY!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: And why is that punk hugging a mole?  
  
Rainyday: -_____-;;; long story . . . here, read this and you'll understand . . . (Hands Inuyasha the story)  
  
Inuyasha: (Starts reading)  
  
MUSEUM  
  
"What's so fun about a museum again?" Bakura asked himself staring at a Mummy.  
  
"I should take the Pharaoh here some time, reacquaint him with some of his relatives . . . heh heh."  
  
"GET OUT AND STAY OUT!!! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!!!!!!!" Bakura heard a female voice shout.  
  
"Awww, come on owowowowowowowowow let . . . go of . . . ear . . . damn it! OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura walked up behind the corner and saw Isidshio (A.N. Oh forget it I can't spell her English name) Isis pulling Marik out of the museum.  
  
"I didn't mean to . . . I wasn't going to steal it really!" Marik said trying to grab Isis' arm.  
  
"Really? Marik how can I believe you after all that's happened? You get out of here; I'm tired of trying to help you! You're acting like a little brat!!!" Isis hissed and threw him out the door, "Get a real job that doesn't involve stealing or taking over the world and then maybe we'll talk!!!" Isis slammed the door. Bakura went up to Isis.  
  
"Erm . . . Isis . . . what just happened?" Bakura asked acting like Ryou.  
  
"Huh? Oh Bakura . . . it's nothing . . . well, you see, a couple of hours ago Marik comes in here swearing that he's change from the experience of battle city, and I was fool enough to believe him . . . he then comes back an hour later and tries to STEAL my Millennium necklace (Just pretend she didn't give it to Yugi . . .) . . . ARG!!! These stupid items are bringing my family nothing but trouble! Why couldn't I be a normal girl? Hang out in a mall watch T.V. do girl stuff!!!"  
  
"I don't know . . . I never wanted to do that sort of thing . . . most likely because I'm not a girl . . . but I do know what you mean about being normal," Bakura lied.  
  
"I, I just sometimes wish I wasn't born under the great desert of Egypt and I could go back to my first and only love . . ." Isis sighed dreamily.  
  
"Love?" Bakura asked. 'Oh no, it's going to get mushy . . .'  
  
"Yes . . . I met him on a rainy day, and remember I live in the desert so it doesn't rain often, he wore a green rain coat and I couldn't see his face. It was my first time on the surface and I was scared . . . somehow he knew and he walked up to me and asked if I'd like an umbrella!" Isis's eyes watered up.  
  
'Oh my Ra I don't believe this, what is this? The Rainy day Soap opera?' (A.N. MUHAHAHAHA Yup! ^________^)  
  
"I said I didn't have any money and he said it was okay and I could have it for free . . . I never saw his face but I was in love! Whenever it rained I would find him and keep him company as he sold his umbrella's . . . I never saw his face in all the time we hung out . . . then again he never saw mine . . . I always wore a veil . . ." Isis said with tears in her eyes.  
  
((My God I think she's talking about Shaadi Bakura!))  
  
(((What's your point squirt?)))  
  
((It's just . . . just so beautiful!!!))  
  
(((You weakling . . . you're not allowed to watch any more soaps, I'm at my wits end with this romance crud!)))  
  
((Mole lover . . .))  
  
(((Yeah so?)))  
  
((UGH IDIOT!!!!)) Ryou yelled and disconnect their connection.  
  
"Well Isis, I'm sure that maybe eventually you'll see him again . . ." Bakura said trying to back away, "By any chance do you sell cocacola here?"  
  
"Erm . . . no . . . do you really think I'll meet him again?"  
  
"Sure why not?" Bakura said getting bored.  
  
'I KNEW the museum wasn't going to be fun . . .'  
  
"Oh Bakura, you've given me such hope, here, take my necklace!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed running out of the museum.  
  
"What was that about?" Isis asked, it began to rain once again and she went into a dreamy daze.  
  
ON THE STREET  
  
Bakura tried his hardest not to scream again and succeed for the most part, but he did constantly mutter, "I hate umbrellas . . ."  
  
*RIIING RIIING*  
  
"GAH!!" Bakura shouted looking around quickly.  
  
*RIIING RIIING*  
  
"What the hell?" Bakura muttered.  
  
*RIIING RIIING*  
  
Bakura finally realized that the sound was emanating from his pants . . .  
  
"Erm. . . oh wait! I know what this is, Ryou uses it all the time, it's a Cellophane . . . yeah that's it, all I need to do is press the magic button and someone can talk to me . . . I sure hope it's not Isis or Shaadi . . . they're starting to freak me out . . ." Bakura mumbled talking out the phone and pressing the button, "Ye-llo . . . I mean . . . Yes? Ryou speaking . . . Oh hello Yugi!" Bakura rolled his eyes, "Uh huh? Right . . . . . . . . . . . . Sure Yugi I would love to come to your place . . . okay . . . okay . . . OKAY . . . alright, bye then!" Bakura said hanging up the phone with a sneer.  
  
"The Starfish head just invited me over. . . great, just great, well, I have nothing else to do I suppose, but why would I want to hang out with that dork?" Bakura sighed, "Oh yeah . . . because the museum was the last thing on my ULTIMATE FUN LIST!!!!!!!!! Oh well . . . maybe I can steal all of his hair gel or something . . . yeah, that will make me feel better . . ."  
  
AT TURTLE GAME SHOP  
  
Bakura sighed and knocked on the door. It opened but everything was dark. Suddenly the lights flickered on and Bakura was nearly knocked down by shouts of, "SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
//0.0 RYOU IT BETTER NOT BE YOUR BIRTHDAY OR YOU'LL WISH YOU NEVER HAD ONE!!!!!//  
  
/No, it's not my Birthday . . ./  
  
"Hold it everyone!" Yugi shouted, "It's just Bakura, nothing to be happy about . . . JOEY!!! Stop sulking in the corner!" Bakura blinked, and looked around. All around the game shop where decorations . . . mostly duel monster decorations and on the counter was a bunch of food and pop.  
  
"What's going on?" Bakura blinked looking at all of Yugi's friends which were starting to hid again.  
  
"We found out it was Kaiba's Birthday, Mokuba's bringing him here and we're gonna surprise him, maybe he'll warm up to use a bit more!" Tea explained cheerfully from behind the couch.  
  
"Wait . . . do you mean . . . Seto Kaiba? ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?!?! ONE HE WANTS TO KILL ME!!!!!!! TWO HE HATES YOUR GUTS!!!!! AND THREE . . . BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed running up into Yugi's room to hid.  
  
IN YUGI'S ROOM  
  
"RA!!!!! The star fish head must be trying to kill me now!" Bakura muttered to himself. Eh? What's this . . .? OH RA NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" On the dresser table lay the Millennium puzzle.  
  
"no . . . No . . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT FAIR IT'S NOT FAIR IT'S NOT FAIR IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why? Why??? WHY?!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOODY FRICKEN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Bakura! Are you okay up here?" Yugi asked running into the room. Bakura laughed insanely, "DON'T YOU SEE? I'M NOT THE REAL BAKURA MUHAHAHAHAHA I'M HIS IDIOT YAMI THAT DID ALL OF THIS RELAXING STUFF FOR NOTHING MUHAHAHAHA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!" Yugi ran over and grabbed the puzzle and put it on.  
  
"What are you doing here stealer of souls? I thought I banished you to the shadow realm in Duelist Kingdom!" Yami barked. Bakura cackled with an insane look in his eye, "Oh? I came back quite awhile ago!!! Heh heh heh and I've tried to get the puzzle from you countless times but guess what? I COULDN'T SO I TOOK A DAY OFF AND TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENED AND I COULD HAVE STOLE YOU'RE STUPID PUZZLE BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I SAID I WOULD'T AND . . . DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!" Yami suddenly covered his mouth and turned around.  
  
"What?!?!?! What are you doing? Are you . . . laughing?!?!?!? WHY IN RA'S NAME ARE YOU LAUGHING!?!?!?!?!" Bakura screamed. Yami kept chuckling, "It's just that . . . he he he . . . it's just that . . . Ha . . . AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . erm. . . get out of here or I'll send you to the shadow . . . HAHA, Shadow . . . realm . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And . . . hehehehe, never . . . never return . . . HAHAHAHA you . . . you . . . you . . . IDIOT BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Yami laughed starting to roll on the floor.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed in frustration running out the door down stairs.  
  
"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone shouted as Seto Kaiba steped through the door.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?" Kaiba screamed in anger.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura said nearly running into Kaiba.  
  
"YOU! YOU'RE MINE!!!!!!!!!!" Kaiba shouted and started chasing him around the room.  
  
"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed, "I DON'T GET IT!?!?!?! WHY WAS THAT IDIOT YUGI LAUGHING SO HARD? I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
/(sigh) Think about it, you're a dirty, thieving, hateful person, in fact you were once a Tomb Robber . . . you're a liar at the best of times!/  
  
//But . . . that . . . means . . .//  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I COULD HAVE BLOWN THE WHOLE DAY OFF THING WITH IN SECONDS!!!!!!! I COULD HAVE HAD ALL SEVEN MILLEINUM ITEMS AND . . . AND I WAS TOO STUPID TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed finally realizing his error. Joey blinked, "Erm . . . Yugi? What is Bakura talking about?"  
  
"I DON'T CARE I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
"AND WHY COULDN'T I HAVE ONE STUPID COKE?!?!?! WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?!?!?! THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO FORGET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed using his ring to wipe everyone's memory clean. He then ran out of the game shop yelling.  
  
AT RYOU'S HOUSE  
  
"ARG WHAT A HORRIBLE DAY DAMN IT!!!!!!!" Bakura yelled, "WHAT THE HELL DID I GET OUT OF THIS?!?!?!?!"  
  
/Well let me see, the admiration of a bunch of beach bums, a 'Killer' sunburn, electrocuted by a game, absolutely no food, you started to understand the concept of winking, you got electrocuted by lightning, you found out some very, very . . . disturbing things about Kaiba, you made it on to Kaiba's Things to Kill list, you made a fool of yourself in front of Yugi, you didn't get a Coke even at the party, which, I noticed had tons, oh yeah, and a mole . . ./  
  
"I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRR YOU'RE NOT GOING TO REMEMBER THIS EITHER!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
/Oh sure, after all you've done to me you take away the best day of my life!/  
  
Rainyday: ^_________^ FINALLY DONE!!!!!!!! Wait . . . oh yeah the Youkai that want's to kill us all.  
  
Inuyasha: BWAHAHAHAHA WHAT A DORK!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: . I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: What was I doing?  
  
Ryou: About to rip us to shreds  
  
All: RYOU YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: Oh yeah . . . meh, I've lost interest . . . hehehe this is really funny . . . you should make more of these . . .  
  
Rainyday: (Grins evilly) I plan to!  
  
Bakura: 0.0 . .. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rainyday: the sequel to this one is called Seto's Birthday, I don't think I really need to explain it! ^.^  
  
Bakura: phew . . .  
  
Inuyasha: Anyway . . . why did you bring me here if this was the last chapter?  
  
Rainyday: . . . okay, I just . . . erm . . . well . . . okay I wanted to see your ears . . .  
  
Inuyasha: -_____-;;; okay . . . nevermind . . .  
  
Ryou: ^.^ that was soooooo fun!  
  
Bakura: no, no it wasn't!  
  
Rainyday: Hey, you do have Milton!  
  
Milton: (Sniffs air doesn't even know the story's ended)  
  
THE END . . . FOR NOW MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
